Feeling Defeated? Check Your Self-Worth

Feeling Defeated? Check your Self-Worth

11/19/2018

by Cailin O'Hara, MAcOM, LAc, Dipl OM

“Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you're worthy of the trip.”

Do you feel easily defeated?
Do you give up? Do you allow a set back or someone else’s opinions to hold you apart from what you want? Do you lose faith in yourself or give up on your dreams if things aren’t going the way you wanted them to?

Do you know what this stems from?

A lack of self-worth.
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This dawned on me today.
It’s been stewing in my mind for a while; now it’s a full-blow epiphany.

(You see, I'm an entrepreneur, and running a business is an unending process of self-evaluation. You need to check your limiting, negative beliefs and constructs so you can actually achieve what you’re aiming for… and that goes for everything, business-related or not. However, because the success of your business is mandatory in order to live a good life, you will care BIG TIME about how you influence it. And, because your business is impacted by your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and lifestyle, you learn to be seriously accountable for all of those elements. If you’re in a funk or self-sabotage mode, your business will let you know because it will likely suffer.)

But, back to you and your resilience.

You can want something. You can dream. You can plan. You can take action. You can get up over and over again in the face of failure. But if you aren’t really committed to what you’re striving for, if you don’t deeply believe in yourself, if you feel easily defeated… then it’s possible that you don’t value yourself, your talent, your time or your needs. At least, not fully, not wholly, not in the ways that will keep you on the path to joy and satisfaction and success.

This is not to say that you just charge ahead, ignoring boundaries or red flags, and become egotistical and defiant. In fact, it actually means that you become more allowing, more trusting, more perceptive, more patient.

How? You know what you want.
And you believe in yourself.
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Signs that you believe in yourself...

You truly love and approve of yourself.
You’re your #1 fan.
You know that things will work out.
You know that at the right time, doors will open.
You know when to wait and when to advance because you’re on your own team.
You know that other peoples' opinions may be interesting or even compelling, but you never use them to undermine yourself.
You know that set-backs are opportunities to learn, reconfigure, rearrange and keep going.
You use what happens to help clarify what you want and where you’re headed.
You do things for the joy of it, for the fun of it.
You seek inspiration, not condemnation.
And most of all, you focus on what you want because it’s what you LOVE, it’s what brings you joy and it’s a reflection of who you really are.

So, what is the dream you’ve been chasing or neglecting?

What kind of improvements are you seeking in your life?
Do you let others or your own past experience dictate how/when/if you will have what you want?
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Years ago, I read and re-read the book, "What is your Self-Worth?" by Cheryl Saban.
One quote from the book still repeats in my mind often:

"If you don't value your own worth, no one else ever will."

Whatever you’re working toward- relationships, goals, career, health, emotional balance, etc.- think about why you want it, what it means to you and how it aligns with your values. Really reflect on that. And know that you’re more than worthy of all of the good that will come to you. If someone doesn’t like you, oh well. If someone tells you you’re not good enough, that’s their issue. Be your own best friend, trust your process, and don’t lose sight of what you want to create in your life.

It’s what you’re here to do.
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