by Cailin O'Hara, MAcOM, LAc, Dipl OM

​Maybe you need to hear this in just this way right now. Some things that happen feel impossible to accept and find peace in. But that doesn’t mean you have to harbor it forever, stuck in the misery of it.
 
How can you find some relief?
 
 How can you take the edge off of the searing pain so that you can breathe, sleep, eat, function?
 
Sometimes the emotional pain is so intense, you feel like you can’t go anywhere near it... it seems like if you do, it will swallow you whole.
 
It’s a pain that keeps on giving.

There is the initial event that caused it and then the countless ways it unfolds into new levels of pain afterward.
 
How can you get through this? What does it even mean to get through it?

...
 
I understand.
 
First of all, you can trust in the process of avoidance initially because it does serve you. It's ok to check out. You can’t expect yourself to accept what feels unacceptable, unimaginable, incomprehensible.

One way to work with avoidance is to embrace it.

This actually helps you become just a bit more present, a bit more HERE, a bit less likely to check out indefinitely. Give yourself space.

The issue is when we check out so hard, dissociate, detach and aren’t engaging with our life at all. It's when we can’t find our way out of avoidance, when we're controlled by it, driven to drink, eat, overwork... anything to avoid how we feel.
 
You don’t have to force yourself to accept what happened when you aren’t ready for that.
 
One way I’ve found helpful is to instead accept how it makes you feel.
...
​
An easier way in to the pain of it, to facing it, is to be with how you feel right here, right now.

“I feel weak, despondent, disconnected, isolated, heavy, enraged, dead inside…”

Whatever it is, just identify what it is that you feel.

And then let yourself feel it. Let it be OK to have your feelings.

You may then notice a separation- there is the you that is grieving, in pain, and there is the you that is observing that part of you.

This can be a very comforting experience. You see that you are not your pain. You never will be. It is part of you, but not all of you.

​It’s like calling a petal a rose. It’s never rose, but it’s part of it.
​

by Cailin O'Hara, MAcOM, LAc, Dip OM

What's the answer?
 
Trauma can fragment you.
It can scatter you into pieces. And when it’s over, you are the one that can put you back together. You are the one that can compassionately hold space for yourself, comfort yourself, give yourself the unconditional love you need and deserve. And in no way does it mean that you’re “broken." In fact, I see it as a tremendous source of power.

by Cailin O'Hara, MAcOM, LAc, Dipl OM

The Cruel Voice
I think we all have an aspect of our minds that is callous, cruel or unsympathetic. It argues for our limitations, our weaknesses, our failures. It affirms our fears and picks us apart until we’re nothing but a pile of rejected fragments, ​totally severed from the truth of who we are and our innate worth.
...

The Inherent Beliefs
We often aren't aware of how cruel our beliefs about ourselves are... nor how much they are limiting us or creating misery in our lives. If you're stuck in negative self-talk, you certainly won't be guiding your life in the best direction. You won't feel your best, either.

In order to dismantle negative self-talk, you need to dig up and throw out the inherent, underlying beliefs you hold about yourself that are generating your negative thinking. 
​
Furthermore, your body is listening to your thoughts. So, what beliefs do you hold about yourself and how is this impacting your health? I can assure you that if you don't give a shit about yourself, your body will suffer.
...

The Overcoming
Earlier in life, before I knew better, I believed this voice. It sent me down some dark roads.

Here's one example:
​Before I was even 10 years old, I was critiquing my body constantly. I’d stare in the mirror and pick myself apart. In a few years, I was virtually devoid of love or concern for myself. Self-disgust and feelings of unworthiness fueled an eating disorder that nearly killed me. I survived quite triumphantly, finding a spark of love for myself that was there all along. The first thing I said while recovering in my early teens was this:
​ I knew the way out of that hell… and I wanted to show people that were suffering the way.
 
This was decades ago. I absolutely love my body now. My belly is happy, not flat. My thighs are strong, not disgusting.  My stature is petite, not insignificant. And nothing about my worth stems from my body. In fact, my body has become my best friend because it always lets me know how I’m feeling and what I need. I treasure it and give thanks to it every single day.
...

by Cailin O'Hara, MAcOM, LAc, Dipl OM

According to Chinese medicine, this makes perfect sense.
 But you may wonder how emotions are related to your body.​
​Allow me to explain.
...
​

Chinese medicine is fan-freaking-tastic for alleviating emotional trauma, stress, anxiety and depression. And I happen to specialize in those things. I understand it personally and professionally, and I also know how to overcome it.
 
So, if you want to try something new, something profoundly effective and surprisingly gentle, you know where to find me.
 
-Cailin
 
 
 
 

by Cailin O'Hara, MAcOM, LAc, Dipl OM

Anything that you do mindfully will help you reconnect. This means that you give 100% of your attention to whatever you're doing. This art of focusing will help you to relax and quiet your nervous system so you can come back into the present moment. ​

Ways to get back into your body...
Yoga/Tai Chi
Exercise/Movement
Meditation
Acupuncture
Wash the dishes :) 

Really simple stuff, right?
Most of us have this awful tendency to downplay our needs and our worth. If you have past trauma, this may be your tendency most of the time. You need you, above all else, in order to heal. So step up, be your own hero, and take the best damn care of yourself that you can. You will be amazed at how comforting it will feel when you finally treat yourself with the respect and love that you always deserve. 
​

​​Treating anxiety and the effects of trauma can be tricky.

​There are many methods, which generally involve counseling. Finding the right counselor for you can be invaluable when you're navigating PTSD, trauma and anxiety. 
​However, sometimes it's not enough.
​
​Sometimes we need a more integrative approach to healing.

Pillar #1: Chinese Medicine
​​I practice a fusion of medicine rooted in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).

​According to TCM, everything is connected: mind, body and spirit. In fact, working with the emotions and our “spirit” is considered an essential aspect of treatment for any symptom or disease in TCM. Your spirit is the essence of who you are and what makes you uniquely you. This aspect of Chinese medicine is the foundation of my practice of medicine.

Pillar #2: Body-Centered Medicine
​Another core aspect of my approach is what I refer to as “body-centered medicine,” which means I treat the body in order to affect the whole being.

​This method is based on the fact that our body holds our history. It is also rooted in the idea that we all possess the innate ability to heal. Working with the body creates a powerful healing effect across all levels: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. 

Pillar #3: Treating the Root Cause 
​Why is working with the body so powerful when it comes to balancing emotions and healing past trauma? It treats the roots of emotional experience. 

A primary condition we treat through the lens of TCM is called stagnation. Stagnation implies there is some sort of holding pattern that is creating a lack of movement, which then creates an array of symptoms (from pain to anxiety to fatigue and so on). Without healthy movement and flow in our bodies or minds, disease and bothersome symptoms arise.

​In the case of trauma, an experience or event sends a shockwave through our entire system that has lasting effects of stagnation. We can become "stuck" or stagnated in the experience- physically, mentally and emotionally. But here's the amazing part... we can treat the roots of trauma and anxiety by unlocking these stuck places in the body.

Releasing past trauma means just that-
We let it move through us, and then we let it go.