What "Letting Go" Really Means

by Cailin O'Hara, MAcOM, LAc, Dipl OM

You will find it necessary to let things go 
simply for the reason that they are heavy. 
-C Joybell C

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So much talk about "letting things go." It gets old, doesn't it? Google it. You'll find a million articles on the topic. You're told to let go of the past, of people, of feelings, of memories...

"Shed the old layers of yourself." 
"Let go of what doesn't serve you."
"Move on."

It has become a cliché.

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Tell me... have you really let that thing "go" and fall away, never to be thought of again?
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One of my favorite mentors and teachers held up a dry erase marker in class one day, opened her hand, and let it drop to the floor. She said that's how it easy it is to let something go. 

It did look easy... and abrupt. Shocking, actually.
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Here's the thing... all of that stuff that you're trying to let go of is part of your story. It's woven into your history, your body, your mind. It's created new emotional landscapes within you, new beliefs, new understanding.

​Everything that has brought you to this exact moment might not still be here in its obvious form, but aspects of it resonate within you always... aspects that you have chosen to keep.

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What you take with you is your choice.
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I have one thing to add to the sea of articles on this topic of "letting go." And it's not about cutting things out of your life or forgetting things you can't forget or pretending something doesn't affect you anymore. 

Actually, it's about embrace. 

Embrace every detail, all the minutia, that has brought you to this exact moment. Some of it will be miraculous, some disastrous, some heart-warming and some unbearably painful. And you know what? THAT'S OK.

All of it, everything that came before this very moment, is over now. It's only your attention to it, your memory, the reminders, the persistent trains of thought, that keep it "alive" in the here and now, and THAT'S ALSO OK. ​

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So what do you do now?
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...now that you're embracing this inconceivably intricate web of a life you've lived that has created you just as you are? Perhaps it's a web that's tattered in spots, difficult to look at, confusing in its weave... how do you "let go" of what "doesn't serve" you?

My suggestion: look at it. 

Let it come. See whatever details come into view. Allow yourself to really feel whatever reveals itself; look curiously and openly at all of these experiences and relationships and feelings you've lived. And ask yourself one question.

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"What did this teach me that I want to take with me?"​

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The real choice you have is what you take with you from here.

Choose whatever feels lighter, whatever feels like relief, whatever helps some of the weight fall away like the ease of opening your hands and letting it go. 

It doesn't mean it's gone.

It will likely come up again in your mind or your life in some new but familiar way. And again, take the time to really look at it. Consider what it has to offer this time around. Ask what you can learn from it to help you be a better you. And then, when you're ready, release it once more with genuine gratitude and let yourself move on.

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